Flirting with Danger
by Erotillectual
Summary: When Bella is unwilling to get rid of a dangerous habit picked up in the wake of his departure, Edward must step in and steer her away from a path that could easily lead to self-destruction. Whether she likes it or not, Bella will mend her ways.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **If you are reading this, you probably already know that I neither own, nor did I create, the characters and concepts of the _Twilight _Saga. They are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer.

**Rating: **I am not sure. Probably about equal to that of the books. PG-13? Let's just say this story deals with light drug use, but does not glorify it. If that subject matter disturbs you, steer clear.

* * *

**Flirting with Danger**

* * *

**Bella**:

It started quite innocently, as these things tend to do. I had driven out to La Push on a rainy Saturday to hang out with Jacob while he worked on my bike, only to find Jake missing and a handsome boy I had never seen before, in his garage in his place. I stopped in the entryway, a little uncertain.

"Is Jake around?" I asked the stranger, who was sitting on a crate, smoking. He drew on his cigarette, and exhaled slowly. For a moment, I thought he wouldn't answer, but then he spoke.

"He went to get some more sodas." He paused. "You must be Bella. My name is John."

I was about to reply, when the scent of what he was smoking enveloped me. My eyes dropped from his face to his hand and the cigarette that wasn't. He was smoking a joint. Noticing me looking, he politely held it out.

"Wanna try?" He said, grinning engagingly.

I automatically opened my mouth to refuse, as I had done the only two other times I had been offered marijuana, and then stopped. It struck me that if recklessness-induced hallucinations were going to be the only way I got to have Edward, experimenting with pot would make a great addition to my collection of reckless behaviors. The boy must have noticed the calculating look on my face, because he laughed and stood, walking toward me, the joint still held out in front of him. I looked from it to him speculatively, and slowly reached for it.

_Bella..._

I stopped, fingers mere inches from the joint, Edward's voice echoing softly and disapprovingly in my head. I closed my eyes in relief. _Oh Edward_…It was working. I had found yet another way to be with him. My hand covered the rest of the space between it and the boy's fingers, and carefully took the joint from him.

_Bella. _His tone sharpened. _Don't._

I brought the joint to my lips.

_Bella! _He sounded angry now. _You will stop _at once…_BELLA! I am warning you..._

"Keep talking, Edward," I muttered, before drawing deeply on the joint and inhaling.

Never having so much as puffed on a cigarette, my lungs were not prepared. They seized, and I started coughing wildly, causing the exiting smoke to sear my lungs and my throat, making me cough even more. Tears streaming down my face, I handed the joint back. The boy laughed again, lightly grasping my wrist to steady my hand, and plucked it from between my shaking fingers. He handed me an open can of coke. The tepid soda soothed my sore throat like cold water on a hot day. My lungs, however, were a different matter. They still hurt like hell.

"That's going to take a while to fade," he said, almost as if he had read my mind.

"Goodness," I gasped, trying not to breathe too deeply and set off the coughing again, "that was awful. Why do people...Oh."

"That's why," he said, laughing delightedly, recognizing the exact moment I began feeling the effects of the drug.

"Oh," I repeated stupidly. "That's...um...that's really nice."

"Want some more?" He asked, holding out the joint again.

I waved him off. "No, I think I'm good for my first time, thanks."

_Your first and _only _time, Bella..._Edward's voice spoke with dangerous intensity. _You will NOT be doing this again._

Feeling very woozy, I carefully lowered myself on to the nearest seat I could find, which happened to be an old cooler, and tried to sort through the new sensations coursing through my body. They defied description. Not that I was remotely interested in describing them. I had discovered an added benefit of being stoned: I was able to think of Edward without pain. Reaching inward with my senses, I carefully probed the gaping hole in my chest that had been my constant companion since he had left me. Just to be sure.

It didn't hurt.

_I may have something here, _I thought, curiosity awakened.

I was so involved in what was going on inside my head that I didn't notice the boy was speaking again, until he was right next to me, tucking a brand-new joint into my jacket pocket.

"Uh...what?" I asked, squinting up at him.

"I said take this for your next time. Consider it a gift."

And so it began.

* * *

It had been easy to fool Charlie and his human senses. Not so easy to fool Edward, once he came back to me, though I had succeeded so far. I'd thought that once I had him back, I wouldn't feel the need to smoke anymore, but it turns out I had seriously misjudged the effects of marijuana. Though it wasn't physically addictive, it certainly was psychologically. I found I enjoyed it too much to stop, and it wasn't difficult to convince myself that it wasn't doing me any harm. My grades were good, I kept up with my chores...I was a good girl in all ways, and saw no reason to deny myself the occasional smoke. It wasn't like I could do it on a regular basis, not while I was under Edward's constant - and completely over the top - supervision. He was with me almost all the time, except for in the morning when I got ready for school, and the evening when I got ready for bed. His enhanced senses, especially his sense of smell, would have made it impossible for me to indulge, if not for the fact that for about five days out of every twenty-eight, Edward could not be around me.

During that time, Edward would take the opportunity to go on one of his bi-monthly hunting trips, and while he was hunting, I would hike out into the woods to smoke a bowl. It was the only way to be sure that he would never smell it on me. Of course it wasn't long before that wasn't enough, and I was slipping into the woods during his _other _hunting trip. I knew that was an increased risk...he had a habit of cutting his trips short, and showing up unexpectedly. If he turned up after one of my trips into the woods, but before I had showered and gotten my clothes into the washing machine...well. He would most certainly know exactly what was going on, and I imagine I would be in a certain amount of trouble.

I knew it was only a matter of time before he busted me. After all, there was still Alice to consider...if Edward didn't show up at exactly the wrong moment and smell it on me, she would eventually see something in my future and probably rat me out. No, definitely rat me out. All Hell would break loose. The idea annoyed me more than it frightened me, which was surprising, because Edward had an uncanny ability to put the fear of God in me. It was a fear that was difficult for me to understand; it wasn't like I was afraid he would hurt me. He might not believe I was safe with him, but I knew better. He would never, _ever _harm me physically. I knew that as surely as I knew that the sun would rise in the east tomorrow. Emotionally...now that was another matter. I was completely secure in the depth of his love for me, but I still couldn't be sure he wouldn't decide one day to make some sweeping decision for me for the sake of my safety, without consulting me, and in doing so break me beyond repair.

"Bella?" Charlie called up the stairs.

I hopped of the bed and opened my bedroom door. "Yeah, dad?"

"I'm heading over to Billy's. Do you want to come? I'm sure Jake would love to see you."

I considered it for a split second, then decided that even though I now had Edward's grudging permission to spend time with Jacob (as if I needed it), Alice would probably see my future disappear and tell Edward, who would worry unnecessarily, cut his hunting trip short and come home regardless of whether he had fed enough or not.

"Thanks, dad, but I have some homework to finish. I'll catch Jacob later."

"OK, honey...I'll be home late, so don't worry about dinner."

"Say hi to Billy and Jake for me," I yelled as he walked out the door.

Plopping myself down on my bed, I put my headphones in my ears and turned up the volume on my music. Thinking about Edward's overprotective and controlling nature had put me in a bad mood. It was flattering in a way; there was something comforting about having someone who was willing to die to protect you, someone who did what they firmly believed was right for you even when you disagreed with them, but at the same time it often made me feel like I was no more than a wayward child. To the Cullens, my running off to play with werewolves wasn't that different from a human child running off to play in rush hour traffic. As far as they were concerned, I didn't understand the dangers, and as a result needed to be protected, even against my will.

Ridiculous. Jacob would no more hurt me than Edward would.

It was ironic that in the middle of my inner grumbling about being treated like a child, I should start acting like one. Getting off the bed, I headed to the hidey hole under the floor boards in which Edward had hidden my birthday presents and pictures of him when he had abandoned me all those months ago. It now held a small antique beaded clutch - securely wrapped in a heavy duty plastic bag, just in case Edward's sense of smell was better than I could possibly imagine – which contained the stone pipe John had given me a week after our first meeting, a lighter, and a small enamel pill box full of high-grade marijuana.

If I had been completely honest with myself I would have recognized my smoking at that moment for the knee-jerk act of rebellion that it was; instead, I managed to convince myself that it was simply an opportunity too good to pass up: Charlie was out for the rest of the day and most of the evening, and Edward would not be back until tomorrow. It was raining cats and dogs outside, and the chance to get stoned in the comfort of my own bedroom would probably not come up again soon.

Opening the windows all the way, I returned to my bed, and settled on top of the comforter with my legs crossed. Using a magazine as a tray, I set out the pipe and tipped a small amount of marijuana into the bowl. I tamped it down with my finger, flicked the lighter and held it to the bowl, inhaling a cloud of fragrant smoke. When the drug started to take effect, I set everything aside on the night table and stretched out on the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, I listened to the rain pattering down outside and the swishing of tires on wet road in the distance, enjoying the cool breezes that blew through the windows and across the bare skin of my legs and arms. I smiled and stretched luxuriantly, deeply content, happy to just lie there and think of nothing. As I grew more relaxed, my eyelids slowly drifted closed.

"What the _Hell_ do you think you are doing?!!"

I screamed, bolting upright so quickly that I slid of the bed and landed on my butt on the floor.

"Wha…?" I gasped, clutching at my chest as if my hand were the only thing keeping my heart from bursting out of my ribcage, and looked straight up a pair of jean-clad thighs, right into the icy yet incandescent eyes of my very irate vampire boyfriend.

"Holy buzz-kill, Batman," I said flippantly, to disguise the abject terror that caused the bottom to fall out of my stomach.

Edward in a blinding rage was pretty impressive, but strangely enough, wasn't nearly as frightening as Edward gone completely still. And right now, he was totally redefining the word _still_.

I was pretty sure I was in more trouble than I had ever been in my short life.

**To be continued…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Edward**:

I don't think she would ever understand how hard it was for me. In fact, I'm not sure she _could. _You'd have to be a vampire to get it, and no matter what she wanted or what my family had agreed to, that was _not_ going to happen. I'd lock her in a tower in the middle of nowhere and tear down the stairs before I'd allow such blasphemy.

Perhaps I hadn't made clear enough to her that it was a very, _very_ bad idea to anger a vampire. It wasn't just a bad idea, it was downright dangerous. Even humans could kill if their anger got out of control; a vampire's rage was infinitely more powerful, and therefore that much harder to control. I was itching to shake her till her teeth rattled for her stupidity, but one gentle shake from me could snap her neck like a twig. I had to be extremely careful and not speak or move until my anger had subsided to safer levels.

I looked down at my errant girlfriend, still sitting on the floor where she had fallen, looking like a naughty little girl who had been caught doing something she shouldn't, and was going to be difficult about it. Which, thinking about it, was a pretty accurate description of the situation. The stubborn set of her jaw told me that getting her to see things my way was going to be an uphill battle. Well, that was fine by me. I would fight for her safety for the rest of her life, if that's what it took. I would fight anyone, including her. Because if there were any doubt that the greatest threat to Bella's safety came from Bella herself, this latest escapade of hers put them to rest. She needed to be protected from herself most of all.

The stand-off continued, with me glowering down at her while she looked up at me defiantly.

She dropped her eyes first, of course. It was easy to tell that underneath all the bravado, she was quaking like a leaf. I could taste her fear. Good. She _should_ be afraid of me. It might be all that was standing between her and a premature death. Perhaps she might even decide to send me away from her for good, which was something that I both hoped for and dreaded at the same time. I would still watch over her until the day she died, but from a distance. She would never have to know I was there, unable to leave her.

"I believe you have some explaining to do," I ground out through clenched teeth, crossing my arms over my chest.

She refused to look up, plucking nervously at a loose thread on the hem of her t-shirt.

"I am waiting, Isabella." That got her attention. I almost never call her by her full name.

"I don't owe you an explanation," she muttered.

"I beg your pardon?" I said evenly.

"Give me a break, Edward," she lashed out, getting to her feet and taking a step toward me. In my face. "You are not my father, stop trying to act like you are."

"Don't change the subject," I snapped. "When did this start?" I continued, pointing at the paraphernalia on her nightstand, never taking my eyes off hers.

Anguish flooded her face. She sat down slowly on the bed, looking vulnerable and lost. _So very fragile_, I thought tenderly. My anger evaporated in an instant. Reaching for her desk chair, I turned it around and sat down facing her. I wanted to be closer, but didn't think sitting next to her on the bed was a good idea just yet.

"Bella, please," I pleaded softly. "Help me understand."

She looked thoughtful for a moment and then seemed to come to a decision. She sighed. "Ok, but you are not going to like it."

I laughed mirthlessly. "That ship has sailed, Bella. I _already_ don't like it."

"Well, you are going to like it even less in a few minutes," she said, smiling slightly.

"Oh, I have absolutely no doubt about that," I replied in a martyred tone. When she saw I wasn't going to say anything else, she started her tale.

"I tried it for the first time when I was hanging out in Jake's garage..."

My face contorted with rage. I should have known that irresponsible cur was somehow involved. _That does it_. _She will never see that creature again if I have to tie her to the bed every time I go hunting._

"It wasn't his fault!" she exclaimed vehemently, seeing the condemnation on my face. "Jake wasn't even there! It was a friend of his, and he didn't force me. I did this of my own free will, Edward. Jacob was actually pretty angry about it when he found out, but at least _he_ lets me make my own decisions."

_About all the wrong things_, I thought, deciding not to go there. "But _why_, Bella? Why would you do something so unbelievably stupid?"

She hesitated and I winced, bracing myself. I _really_ wasn't going to like this.

"Remember what I said about hearing your voice when I did certain…not so smart things?"

I closed my eyes in denial. _No, no, no_...I could already see where this was going "How could I forget?"

"Well, I tried it to see if it was one of those things that would make me hear your voice."

_Yes. _I knew it. Yet another thing to add to my already heavy burden of guilt. For the umpteenth time, I kicked myself for having left her.

"Edward?"

I opened my eyes. "Go on..." My voice sounded strained.

"Are you OK? You looked like you were about to have a stroke or something."

I laughed, with real humor this time. "Bella, sweetheart, if I were mortal, one of your many hare-brained schemes would have killed me a long time ago. Continue, please."

She took a deep breath. "Ok...uh...well, I found out that, on top of making me feel pretty good, it also totally killed the pain. I could think of you without it hurting. At all. It's not your fault," she continued impatiently, seeming to read my mind. "I wish you would stop blaming yourself for my decisions. I made them freely, they are my responsibility. I'm in control of my own destiny."

There was so much I could have said to that. I could have told her I _was_ to blame for her decisions, since her decisions were based in the disastrous mistake I made in leaving her. I could have told her that I considered her _my_ responsibility, and that she had yet to show me that she was in control of anything. None of which she would want to hear.

"But what about now, Bella?" I asked. "I am back, and I'm not leaving. Why are you still doing it?"

"I…I don't know."

"Well, maybe you should think about that. In any case, this has to stop." I said, standing up. I went to the night table, and picked up the pill box.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I am going to flush this down the toilet," I replied.

"No, you aren't!" She grabbed my sleeve.

I fixed her with a stony glare, pulling my arm free. "Oh, yes I am," I said with cold finality.

"Edward, I appreciate what you are trying to do," she said tightly. "But I think you're overreacting. Don't make this a bigger deal than it is. It's just a little pot. I smoke once in a while. You are around me all the time, you know that's true. My grades aren't suffering; I'm not getting staying out all night causing trouble…What's the problem?"

"This is serious, Bella. And the fact that you don't see that shows how far down the road you have already gone. It's unhealthy. Not to mention _illegal_."

"That's just based on someone else's definition of right and wrong," she countered, gearing up for a debate.

I was beginning to get exasperated. "This isn't up for debate," I interrupted. "It is wrong, and that is all there is to it. I told you I wouldn't tolerate any risky behavior. This certainly qualifies. We are done discussing this." With vampire speed, I went to the bathroom, flushed the contents of the box down the toilet, and was back in front of her before she could draw breath to speak. I put the now empty box on her nightstand.

"Bella," I said softly, looking down at her.

She wouldn't look at me. She was angrier than I had ever seen her.

"You will not smoke anymore. Is that understood?"

She said nothing.

"_Bella_…" I repeated, injecting a note of warning in my voice.

"Understood," she replied sullenly, finally capitulating.

"Bella, look at me."

When she didn't look up, I grasped her chin firmly and tipped her face up, forcing her to meet my eyes, wishing not for the first time that I could read her mind. I had to content myself with searching her eyes for any sign that she might defy me on this. She kept still for my scrutiny, her face expressionless, showing me nothing.

"You are infuriating," I murmured, finally releasing her.

An involuntary smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "You'll learn to like it," she deadpanned. Then, more quietly, "I love you, Edward. I'm sorry."

The ice between us thawed.

I sat down on the bed beside her. "Bella…" I whispered, brushing the tips of my fingers lightly from her cheek bones to her jaw, then trailing them across to her lips and letting them rest there, letting the heat of her breath warm them temporarily. "Oh God…Bella…" Groaning, I moved in hesitantly, pulling my fingers away at the last second and carefully replacing them with my cold lips, so afraid of accidentally hurting her.

It was like turning my face toward the heat of the sun. Her proximity warmed me like nothing else, and her soft, full lips burned hottest of all.

"Edward," she breathed against my mouth. If that weren't heavenly enough, her warm, sweet scent radiated out from her body and enfolded me like a summer night. We hovered on the brink for an eternal second, and then I lightly touched my tongue to her lips. It was as if I'd found a hidden trigger. She shuddered once and melted into me, the first one of us to dare deepen our kiss. I threaded my fingers through her hair, and closed my fist around a handful, anchoring her head, holding it immobile while I devoured her mouth. She whimpered softly. Her wandering hands became a distraction; my self control wavered briefly, and then shattered when she boldly ran her fingers up the side of my throat and around to firmly cup the back of my neck.

It felt like I was falling in to her, or more precisely she was drawing me into herself. Her blood called to me like nothing else ever had or would again. I lost my balance on the knife edge and tumbled over the line that separated the civilized being from the beast. An involuntary snarl ripped out of me, and I threw myself away from her and out of the window, the image of her face, frozen in surprise, seared into my brain. Running, flying like the wind through the woods, I tried to escape the fragrance of her, tried to outrun my lust for her blood. The further I got from her the more my dead heart ached, and I marveled again at how inextricably tied up with hers my existence had become. Even if she did send me away from her, I'd be bound to her until her death. I finally stopped running, and dropped to my knees, straining to resist the temptation to return to her immediately. It was useless. Eventually, I had to turn around again, and head back to her side, where I belonged.

She was sitting where I had left her, clutching a pillow to her chest as a substitute, patiently waiting for me. "Are you OK?" she asked, wide-eyed gaze traveling down my body.

I looked down at myself. In addition to being wet, it also looked like half the forest was stuck to me. I shot her a wry smile. "I think I should go and change." Turning serious again, I continued. "Esme is insisting on spending a little time with me. She says I've been away too much, and she misses me. I'll be back when you go to bed." I pointed to the stuff on her nightstand. "I don't want to see that when I get back," I said sternly.

She nodded, tensing, and I cursed myself for having spoken, for having killed the mood. I hesitated, wondering if I should say something else, and then decided to leave well enough alone. Standing before her, I lightly touched my fingers to her cheek.

"I'll see you later," I whispered. "I love you, Bella. Everything will be OK."

I disappeared before she could say anything.

**To be continued…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Bella:**

I sat, unmoving, for a full minute after Edward left before giving myself a mental shake and stirring.

"That went well," I said sarcastically to my empty room. "All I need now is for Charlie to find out, and my life will be complete." Speaking of which…I collected the evidence of my crime off the nightstand and hid it back under the floorboards to deal with later. I wanted no reminders of the unpleasant afternoon I'd just spent. Well, mostly unpleasant, I thought as a warm blush washed over my body at the memory of a certain short-lived but intense kiss.

I ruthlessly pushed those feelings aside, wanting to hang on to my anger for a while longer and needing a clear head to do it. Edward had a way of muddying the waters even when he _wasn't_ around. I didn't want to be distracted by the memory of his touch; I wanted to vent about his high-handed ways.

Edward had acted true to type; he had tried to reason with me first, and when that didn't work fast enough, he lost patience and tried to bully me into doing what he wanted. He was so arrogant about it too; making decrees like the force of his will was enough to make me surrender. It was seriously starting to annoy me. It didn't help that even though he was over a hundred years old, in physical body he was a 17 year old boy. I was 18, and it didn't sit well with me that someone frozen at that age should be telling me what I could and couldn't do. Then, when he got all paternalistic and controlling, it reminded me that he was old enough to be my _great-grandfather_. It got really confusing sometimes, and it threw me off balance.

He'd gotten me thinking, though. I had to give him that. Why _was_ I still doing it? Was liking it a good enough reason, considering the way Edward reacted, considering the way Charlie would react if he found out? Was it worth upsetting them? Was it worth upsetting _me_? My life had already gotten harder with Edward clued in to my dirty little secret; I could hardly imagine how difficult it would get if Charlie Swan, Chief of Police, found out. I'd be grounded for life, and Edward would probably help him keep it that way.

It was a moot point, anyway. Edward had dumped my stash, and I wasn't about to ask John for more. Smoking what he had freely given me was one thing; arranging to meet him to buy some would be crossing a line I wasn't prepared for. I hadn't thought that far ahead. So it looked like Edward was getting his way in this area of my life too. Damn him.

My stomach rumbled, reminding me it was past time to think about eating. I headed for the kitchen. Charlie wasn't eating in tonight and I didn't feel like cooking, so I ate three bowls of heavily sweetened cereal, standing at the window. The munchies…they were another side effect I _did not_ enjoy. I didn't want to have to start watching my weight. Score one against marijuana. Washing my bowl and spoon, I put the milk and cereal away and shuffled upstairs to take a shower.

I was in bed far too early, but I was feeling pretty drained; arguing with Edward was never easy. I just wanted to bury myself in bed, lose myself in a book and forget the day had ever happened. Bundling myself under the comforter, I curled up on my side, opened my book and promptly fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning feeling groggy. A quick look around the room told me Edward wasn't there. The only sign that he had been here at all were a bunch of wildflowers tucked into my water glass, and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. I downed it gratefully, and then flopped back down on my bed stretching, imagining Edward picking the flowers for me. I lay there for a moment then rolled on to my side, moaning when the memory of yesterday's events flooded me. I pulled a pillow over my head, really not wanting to get up. Edward would be showing up at the front door any minute now, though, so I had no choice. I didn't know if Charlie was around, but I didn't want to risk leaving those two alone for any longer than necessary.

I wasn't entirely sure Edward could be trusted not to tell him.

* * *

Things slowly went back to normal between us. Edward watched me a little more closely in the beginning, and I was a little more withdrawn than usual. Other than that, we slipped back into our regular routine…Homework at the kitchen table, with Charlie chaperoning from the living room, earnest conversations over uneaten food in the cafeteria at school, and whispered secrets in the darkness of my bedroom as he held me and sang me to sleep at night. Neither of us ever brought up my little brush with drug use. I wasn't thinking about it much anymore, and probably wouldn't have thought of it again, if not for another fateful visit to La Push a couple of weeks later.

Shortly after noon on one Saturday I was driven to the edge of werewolf territory, where Edward delivered me into Jacob's hands for the afternoon. When the planned gathering at First Beach got rained out, most of us ended back at Billy Black's hanging out in the living room. Billy left not long after, telling me he'd much rather watch TV quietly with my father than hang around with a bunch of teenagers.

John just had to be there of course, and naturally he had brought a few joints along. He did not smoke inside the house out of respect for Billy, instead going out back to the covered porch.

Besides those members of the pack that were there, I knew very few of the other kids, except by sight. I kind of hovered on the outskirts of the party, watching rather than participating, and eventually slipped out to join John, taking a couple of cokes with me. I didn't consciously join him in order to smoke, but that is how things panned out anyway.

"Arizona!" he sang, happy to see me. He held out the joint.

I handed him a coke, hesitating.

"What happened, girl? You get busted or something?" he said, accepting the soda and popping the tab before taking a long swallow.

When people are standing at a crossroads like I was at that moment, there should be some kind of a warning. Some kind of ominous soundtrack should be playing, or something. There should be some clue that one of the choices facing you _might_ just be a really bad one. Oh, who was I trying to fool? I _knew_ it was a bad choice when I finally shook my head (getting busted by my boyfriend didn't count) and reached for the joint, plucking it from between his lips. I just didn't care. All sorts of good reasons were lined up in my head, in a neat little row. It was only going to be a few hits at a party. I wasn't going to be driving. I wasn't doing it enough to harm me. I never actually agreed to stop; Edward just assumed I had because he told me to. On and on the excuses paraded through my head, while John and I smoked in companionable silence, passing the joint back and forth between us.

"Do you have a death wish, Bells?"

Jerking, I turned around to see Jacob frowning at me from the doorway.

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"Your _boyfriend,_" he said, managing to make it sound like a dirty word, "will go ballistic when he finds out. In fact, I am surprised he hasn't busted you already."

_Oh but he has_. "Well then I'll just have to make sure he doesn't find out, won't I?" I said with a lot more bravery than I felt.

"It's a bit late for that, isn't it?"

I looked at him intently. "What do you mean?" I asked, only just able to keep the fear out of my voice. Was he going to rat me out?

"Bella, come inside for a minute." He gestured for me to follow him. I got up and followed him just inside the doorway, where we had some measure of privacy.

"Bella," he said very quietly, "He's a vampire, remember? He'll smell it on you when I take you back to him."

"But that's hours away!" I cried.

"Not so loud, Bella!" he admonished, darting a look around the room. With the music and the talking going on, no one but the pack had noticed anything. "It's only one hour, you lost track of time. It's not enough time, Bells. Even if you change your clothes," he added as I was about to speak.

I panicked. "You have to take me home now, Jake!" I pleaded, tugging on his sleeve. "I'll call him when I get home!"

"I'll get my keys." He sighed. "You know, someday you are going to have to stop flirting with danger, Bella. It's going to get you in serious trouble one of these days."

"Thanks, Jake. You are a lifesaver," I said, giving him a quick, fierce hug.

* * *

Well, he _tried_ to be a lifesaver. What neither one of us had figured on was that Edward would actually be there, already waiting for me. We both noticed the silver Volvo at the same time. Jake started slowing down. I wanted to yell at him to keep driving, but knew it wasn't an option. He pulled over to the side of the road, shut off the engine and turned to look at me.

"It's been real nice knowing you, Bells," he quipped, smirking.

"Very funny, Jake," I growled, trying to sound confident.

I took a deep breath and got out of the car, hoping against hope that driving with the windows open had blown away most of the smell. I watched Edward get out of his car, and started walking toward him, a bright smile plastered on my face. He gave me one of his patented smoldering-eyes-plus-grin looks, and I forgot everything, running the last few feet to throw myself in his arms. He wrapped them around me, pulling me to him, and buried his face in my hair.

Suddenly, he stiffened, and I knew in an instant that the open windows and rushing air had not helped. He pulled out of my embrace and held me away from him, his fingers biting into my shoulders. I tried to keep my expression neutral as I looked into his face. I wished I hadn't, but I couldn't very well look away again.

His eyes were blazing.

I wanted to speak, to explain, but knew instinctively that now was not the time. So I waited as he continued to glare at me. I heard Jacob's car leave, and still I waited. I waited until I couldn't look into his furious eyes for a second longer, and then dropped my gaze to the ground at my feet. Only then did he let me go, moving around to the passenger side.

He opened the door. "Get in," he said curtly. I scurried around to his side and got in.

"Seat belt," he snapped, as he got behind the wheel and slammed his door.

I wordlessly put on my seatbelt. Churning up dirt and gravel, he spun the car around and tore off down the road like a bat out of hell. I waited for him to speak as we sped toward Forks, sneaking looks at him from time to time, trying to gauge his mood. From the set of his jaw and the way his fists were clenched around the steering wheel, I could tell it hadn't softened one bit. I decided to try risking an explanation anyway.

I turned to him. "Edward..."

He didn't let me finish. "Quiet," he said, his voice dangerously soft.

"But..."

He closed his eyes briefly. "Bella, so help me God..."

I shut up.

The rest of the mercifully short trip was spent in silence. He didn't look at me as I got out of the car, and then peeled off without saying another word. I watched until his car disappeared, and then headed into the house.

"Bella, is that you?" Charlie called from the living room.

"Yeah, dad, it's me," I replied, closing the door and making a bee-line for the laundry room. I was pretty sure Charlie wouldn't smell anything, but the way my luck was going right now, I didn't want to take any chances. There was enough laundry for a full load, so I stripped off my clothes, and started a wash. I found a clean but un-ironed tank top, sweat pants, and a thick cotton sweater. I was feeling a little chilled, and not just because of driving with the windows open.

I stuck my head into the living room on the way to the kitchen. "Hi Billy...Dad, I am going to make some hot chocolate. Do you guys want some?

They looked at me like I was nuts. "No thanks, but we'll take a couple of beers when you have a minute."

I dropped a handful of chocolate chips in a saucepan and started melting them. Slowly. I had no idea when Edward would appear in my room, but whenever that was, I wanted to put it off for as long as humanly possible. I added milk to the melting chocolate, and stirred it. When the steam rose off of it, I poured it into a mug, grabbed two beers for Charlie and Billy, and joined them in the living room. They were watching some game, which didn't interest me, but I just wasn't ready to face Edward yet.

If he even showed up.

I was afraid to face him, but even more afraid of finding my bedroom empty. What if he was so angry with me that he stayed away tonight? I wasn't sure if I could take that. I sipped my hot chocolate slowly, staring at the TV with unseeing eyes. The guys, fortunately, were too engrossed in the game to notice my mood.

When there was no more chocolate to sip, I went into the kitchen to tidy up what little mess there was. With nothing left downstairs to occupy me, I took a deep breath and started slowly up the stairs. By the time I got to the top, my nerve had deserted me again, so I decided to take a shower and wash every single trace of the day out of my hair and off my body. I lingered as long as possible there too, dressing, drying my hair, putting it up in a ponytail, taking it down again to dry it some more, putting it up again...finally there was nothing left to do but face the music.

I headed down the hall to my bedroom.

**To be continued…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Bella:**

I was filled with both dread and relief when I opened the door and found him waiting for me. Relief that he was not so angry that he had given up on me, and dread that I would now have to face his displeasure. Not for the first time, it occurred to me that Edward was a vampire in more ways than just the obvious one. He had the uncanny knack of being able to drain me of my energy, and very quickly, whether he was kissing the breath out of me, or reading me the riot act. No wonder I so often gave in to him.

He had turned the desk chair around to face the bed again, and was sitting on it, left ankle resting on his right knee, arms crossed over his chest. From the moment I walked into the room, his eyes never left mine. Even when I wasn't looking at him, I could feel the weight of his stare. I moved over to my bed and sat down, folding my hands neatly in my lap, and waited for him to make the first move. He continued to observe me without saying a word. Strangely, he didn't look angry, but considering the way he had acted in the car earlier, it seemed like a good idea for me to hedge my bets and keep quiet.

As the silence between us grew, I stopped being afraid, and grew annoyed. What the hell was I doing? Since when did _I_ act meek and submissive? I'd never been a raging feminist, but neither was I a pushover. I was an 18-year-old, 21st century woman, and I was perfectly capable of managing my own life, mistakes and all. I didn't need to be coddled _half_ as much as Edward and some of the Cullens seemed to think I did. Well, it was time I made a stand and took my life back. My back straightened, and I decided if he was going to just sit there and say nothing, I was going to take control of the conversation.

"May I speak now?" I asked him with exaggerated politeness.

Placing his foot back on the ground, he leaned forward, elbows resting on his legs, hands hanging loosely between his knees. He simply nodded.

After all that, I didn't know how to start. I said the first thing that popped into my head. "I wasn't sure you'd be here."

Whatever he thought I might say, this clearly wasn't it. "Why?" he asked, startled.

"You know," I said evasively, looking down at my hands and shrugging.

"Actually, Bella, I don't have a clue." He ducked his head, trying to catch my eyes.

I looked up at him boldly. "I thought you'd be angry with me."

"I am angry with you," he said, frowning. "That goes without saying."

"You don't look angry."

"I'm absolutely livid. But I have learned that my breaking things, yelling and laying down the law make very little difference with you. You just go ahead and do what you want anyway. I know that you are perfectly capable of seeing reason, though, so I am just going to have to be patient and reason with you."

"What if I can't be reasoned with?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"On this particular matter, I'll _make_ you see reason," he promised, a hint of steel entering his voice. "You can count on that. But forget about that for a moment. What does my being angry have to do with you not being sure I'd be here?

"Well, when you drove off…I…I thought you'd stay away. I was afraid you might not be here tonight," I admitted.

He looked at me in horrified shock. "You thought…" He stopped, as if unable to continue. "_Why_?" he continued incredulously.

I shrugged. "I smoked after you told me to stop. You were so mad; you wouldn't let me speak in the car…"

I watched the emotions play across his face at my words. Outrage, exasperation, hurt, and most of all sadness. He stood and walked over to the window, staring out into the growing darkness.

"Bella…" he started wearily, "First of all, I don't think I made it clear enough how very careful I need to be with my temper, especially around someone as breakable as you. I didn't want you to say anything because I was struggling to control my anger, and I didn't want to be distracted; you could try the patience of a saint, and we both know I'm no saint. Furthermore…I don't know how many different ways I can tell you and show you that I love you, and I won't ever leave you. There is nothing you can do or say that will make me turn away from you. _No one_ can make me turn away from you. Not even you. Yes…I know I told Jacob that the only way I would leave you is if you sent me away. I meant it. But even if you made me go, I would always be near. For as long as you live, I'll be there, keeping you safe. I can't live without you near. It hurts, Bella. It physically hurts when I get too far away from you." He looked pained. "How could you think I would just walk away from you because you had a problem? I wouldn't walk away from a friend, let alone my very reason for living. Why do you value yourself so little?"

I went to him, putting my arms around his waist from behind, pressing my cheek into his shoulder blade. "Oh, Edward," I whispered tremulously, "I _don't_ value myself so little. I think you value me too much. I just can't believe…I can't get used to…" I stopped, unwilling to voice the same old doubts yet again. I just couldn't bring myself to accept that he loved ordinary little me more than his own life. Throughout all the decades of his long existence, out of all the women he must have known, he fell for me. He _imprinted_ on me, I thought wonderingly, borrowing a werewolf term.

I hadn't realized I had spoken that last out loud, until he turned in my arms and took my face in his hands. "That's _exactly_ it," he murmured wonderingly, smiling down at me. "I imprinted on you. So there is nothing either of us can do about it."

I could have stood like that forever, my arms around his waist, his hands on my face, but we still had that little matter to discuss of my life being my own to manage as I saw fit. I needed to make him see reason on this. I almost laughed out loud at the thought of Edward being made to see reason about _anything_ to do with me.

I took the bull by the horns, and the vampire by the hands. "It was only a few hits off someone else's joint, Edward," I said reasonably. "It really isn't a big deal. Lots of people do it, and lead very constructive, law-abiding lives."

He made an exasperated sound. "Bella, if everyone you know jumped off a cliff, would you…" He stopped, realizing too late what he was saying. "On second thought, don't answer that. It doesn't matter what other people do, don't you see that? You can't tell what might happen to you by looking at other people's lives. Sure, not everyone who smokes pot ends up robbing old ladies to buy heroin, but do you really want to start down that path? My question is, is it really worth the risk? Is it that good that you would risk your health and your well-being? You can see what this is doing to me, what do you think it will do when Charlie and Renee find out? Because they _will _find out if you keep this up. You can't hide this forever. Is it worth the pain you will cause them?"

I pulled my hands out of his and went back to the bed to sit. "I am trying to tell you that there is no risk, Edward," I sighed, exasperated. "I am not stupid. I am not letting it affect my life. It's not like I even have any anymore; I am not planning to keep it around the house. But I see nothing wrong with taking a hit once in a while. Where is the difference between that and having a cocktail at a party? It's harmless. Alcohol is worse, and I don't see you getting all bent out of shape about Charlie, knocking back beers in the living room."

He sat back down on the chair in front of me. "Charlie is an adult, and he is not my responsibility," he said impatiently.

"And neither am I!" I flared up. "This isn't the middle-ages, you know. Women are responsible for themselves, and amazingly, we manage quite well without endless interference from the opposite sex."

"_Some_ of you manage quite well," he muttered.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I snapped.

"You know exactly what I mean. You've been a disaster waiting to happen since I met you, and probably before that as well."

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I was tired of arguing. Clearly, we were going to have to agree to disagree about this. I cut to the chase. "Are you going to stop butting into my life, and trust me to handle it by myself?"

"Are you going to stop smoking pot, permanently?"

"I'll take that as a no," I said stiffly.

"That makes two of us." He observed me thoughtfully for a moment. "You leave me no choice, Bella," he continued, his voice laced with regret.

I felt a chill crawl up my spine_. Uh oh, that's not going to be good_. "What do you mean?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

He sighed. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell Charlie."

**To be continued…**


	5. Chapter 5

**Edward:**

Her face went blank with shock, lips parted in a silent 'O'. She was speechless, though I was sure that wouldn't last long.

I was right.

"You wouldn't," she whispered.

"I will," I said firmly. "I told you, Bella, I would do anything to protect you. That includes telling your father."

"But I don't. Need. Protection," she ground out through clenched teeth. "Not for this."

"_I_ believe you do."

She stood up abruptly, clutching her arms to herself, and started pacing. "I will never forgive you if you do this."

"I can live with that," I said calmly. "If it means you are safe and well, I can live with anything." I had hoped I wouldn't have to play my trump card of telling Charlie, but when I said I would make her see reason, I meant it. If I needed to involve Charlie, so be it; whatever it took. I stood and walked to the door. I heard her gasp behind me, and then she threw herself between me and the door. I thought she was just resting her palms on my chest until I noticed her arms quivering with the strain. She was pushing against me with every ounce of her strength, her heart racing.

"No, Edward, don't!" she cried, pleading with me. "Charlie won't understand; it will turn his life upside down! He'll be so upset! Why would you do that? Why would you disrupt our lives like that?"

"Bella, don't you see? If you know it is something going to hurt your parents and disrupt your lives, why do you do it?" I said passionately. "You think that what they don't know won't hurt them, but it does. You are hurting yourself and that hurts them, even if they don't know it."

I could tell by the look on her face that I wasn't getting through. She dropped her hands, but stayed plastered to the door, staring at me, frozen.

I had exhausted the last of my arguments. I sighed. "Step aside, Bella."

She didn't move. I frowned, absolutely done with arguing about this. "You can move under you own power, or I can move you myself. The choice is yours." She still wouldn't budge. Putting my hands under her arms, I picked her up, placed her off to the side, and opened the door.

"Edward, NO!" she hissed, grabbing my arm, clearly afraid that Charlie would hear. "Please!" Her voice broke on the word please, tearing me in half. I struggled to hide the pain her anguish caused me. I had to stay strong, for her sake, or lose the ground I had gained. I turned and looked at her, my expression unyielding. Her eyes were swimming with unshed tears and her lower lip was trembling. I turned away again, preparing to walk through the door.

"I'll stop," she whispered harshly. "Please don't tell Charlie. I will never do it again, I promise." Then the tears spilled over. She collapsed into a sobbing heap on the bed, curled up with her back to me.

I closed my eyes in relief, knowing with absolute certainty that she was telling me the truth. Nevertheless, I was going to make damn sure it stuck before cutting her any slack. Sitting beside her on the bed, I waited for her to cry herself out. When her sobs subsided to the occasional hitch in her breathing, I reached for her shoulder and turned her on to her back so I could look into her eyes. I propped my arm on the other side of her and observed her searchingly. "Is this the same promise as before, or do you really mean it this time?"

"Actually, I made no promises last time," she said, with perhaps a touch of smugness. You said 'you will not smoke anymore, understood?' and I said 'understood'. You assumed a promise where there wasn't one."

I suppressed a smile. "I see I will have to be more specific with you in the future," I said solemnly. "So, do you mean it? You'll really stop?" I touched my hand to her cheek and rubbed away the tears with my thumb, then brushed her other cheek with the backs of my fingers.

She sat up and moved back to lean against the headboard. "I'll really stop," she sighed. "It isn't worth this much hassle. I still think it isn't that big a deal, but you do, and I think Charlie would agree with you. I love you both, and I don't want to hurt either of you. I also don't want to deal with the fallout if you tell Charlie." She took my hand, playing with my fingers. "I'm really angry with you about this, Edward." She continued. "You have no right to interfere with my life like that. No, let me finish," she said, looking up as I drew breath to interrupt. "I have the right to make my own decisions and choices. You have the right to voice your opinion, but that's about it. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm not asking if you agree or disagree, just if you understand."

"I understand," I said reluctantly. "Do _you_ understand that I'm only doing what I think is right?"

"I do," she said with passion, "I really do. I know you are doing this because you love me. But why is what _you_ think is right more important than what I think is right?"

I had no answer to that, at least not one that she would accept. 'Because I am right and you are wrong' would hardly seem like a good reason to her.

"And why do you trust my judgment when it comes to Jacob, but not when it comes to marijuana? Do you think it is more of a threat to me than Jacob?"

Another question I couldn't answer, because it would mean telling her that I was slowly – very slowly - coming to trust that dog to keep her safe. I was barely willing to admit that to myself, let alone anyone else.

"Edward?" She waited.

"I don't know what to tell you, Bella." I decided to at least give her the partial truth. "I've got nothing that won't piss you off even more."

"Try me," she said.

"Well, I've given you all my reasons before, but to cut a long story short, I firmly believe that your behavior is wrong, and that as your best friend and future husband," I ignored her look of discomfort at this, "I have to stop you. I understand that you think this is not big deal, and maybe you're right, maybe you could smoke pot occasionally for the rest of your life and not suffer any ill effects, but the risks far outweigh the benefits, and I would rather stop you now than risk having to help you through worse later on. For your sake, Bella, as much as mine. I'm sorry, but I just won't give in on this."

"You know this is blackmail, don't you?"

I smiled ruefully. "Yes, I know. And it gets worse."

She looked at me suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that although I won't tell Charlie now, if I _ever_ catch you at it again, nothing you say or do will keep me from telling him."

"Ok. I guess there's nothing more I can say," she said, her tone flat. "You win."

"No, Bella, we both win. Believe me."

She looked at me sharply. "You sound like you're speaking from experience. Have you been in this position before? With someone else, I mean?"

How could I have ever thought she wasn't observant?

I was saved from answering when I heard movement on the stairs. "Charlie is on his way up," I whispered, heading for the window and climbing out. I dropped lightly to the ground and crouched down, flattening my back against the wall and focusing my hearing on Bella's room. I heard Charlie knock on the door and Bella invite him in.

"Billy and I are going to the diner for a bite, do you want to come?" he asked me. "It'll save you from having to make dinner."

"Thanks dad, but I think I'll pass. You guys enjoy, though."

"Ok." A pause. "Are you alright, Bells?"

"Yes, dad, I'm fine…just a little tired."

"Well, you get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

As soon as I heard him go down the stairs, I leaped up to Bella's window, climbing in again. I sat next to her on the bed, reaching out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You should go eat something too," I said.

She nodded absently. "Yes…I think I will." She got up, and I stood to follow her. "No," she said, turning to me. "You stay here. I need to be alone for a while."

I felt a sharp pain in the vicinity of my heart. I was wondering if I had done irreparable damage to our relationship, when she turned to me again, her hand on the door knob. "You _will_ stay, won't you?"

"As long as you want me to, my love," I replied, deeply relieved. "How many times will I have to tell you that?"

She left, closing the door behind her. "As often as I need to hear it," I heard her whisper.

I settled myself more comfortably on her bed, and waited for her, listening to the comforting sounds of her moving through the house and around the kitchen, going about her nightly routine. I felt drained; if I had still been human, I could have fallen asleep right then and there. The last few weeks had been difficult, to say the least. I don't think Bella understood quite how worried I had been about her. Perhaps it was my age; my having seen more of the world and life that any mortal ever would, but sometimes, dealing with her lack of life experience made me feel like a father with a teenage daughter, with all the worry and heartache that came along with it. She had put me through an emotional wringer - and not for the first time – and I don't think she even knew it.

I heard her come up the stairs again, and head to the bathroom; I listened to her as she brushed her teeth, and then followed her beloved heartbeat as she made her way back to me.

I stood up and waited for her to come in.

**To be continued one last time…**


	6. Chapter 6

**Bella:**

I needed to think, and thinking wasn't an easy thing to do around Edward. Walking slowly downstairs to the kitchen, I opened the fridge, eyeing its contents listlessly. Not being in the mood to cook, I put a cinnamon roll in the toaster oven and poured myself a glass of milk. It was just what I needed; something sweet, warm and comforting.

I was finally ready to be honest with myself, and had to admit that at some point, the argument with Edward had stopped being about marijuana. It had morphed into a fight for independence; for the right to make my own choices, and have those choices respected, even if they weren't approved of. I had never in my life encountered an obstacle as unmoving as Edward when it came to what he thought was best for me. He was the most domineering individual I'd ever come across, and I chafed against the restrictions he was always trying to impose on me. I was ashamed to admit it brought out all the dormant teenage rebelliousness that I never knew was in me. It became a battle I just had to win.

Unfortunately, I picked the wrong thing over which to fight my battle for independence. Edward was right; pot really wasn't worth all the trouble it was causing. All the trouble _I _was causing. It was too high a price to pay for a few hours of being high.

The toaster oven dinged, and I pulled the warm roll out and on to a plate and carried it to the table. I resumed my musing, pulling apart the buttery pastry and following each bite with a drink of cold milk. I had lost the battle, but in the end gained a deeper understanding of Edward's devotion to me. I was a little awed at the lengths he would go to in order to keep me from making what he considered a big mistake; it made me feel truly loved and cared for. It made feel safe. A wave of love washed over me. This is what it was all about; the love shared. It was better than any drug on earth. I finished my snack, and washed my plate and glass.

It was time to return to my love.

I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and change for bed, and then headed for my bedroom.

He was standing when I entered the room, eyes fixed on mine as usual. I closed the door behind me, took a few steps toward him, faltered, and then stopped. His stillness was unnerving, as was the look of burning intensity in his eyes.

"Edward?" I said with a faint tremor to my voice.

Although he didn't move a muscle, something in him shifted. His closed his smoldering eyes as he inhaled through his nose; when he opened them again, they ignited. He tensed.

Something fluttered in my stomach. "Edward?" I repeated, my voice even more unsteady.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered, starting toward me with slow predatory grace. He didn't stop when he got to me, instead backing me against the wall without ever touching me. I hadn't even realized I'd moved until my back touched the door. He placed a hand on the wall on either side of my head and looked down at me.

My insides turned to liquid. I was grateful for the support of the door behind me, because I wasn't sure my knees would hold me up.

He said nothing, scorching golden eyes raking my face, and more unsettlingly, my throat. Dipping his head, he found my mouth with none of the hesitancy he had shown in the past. His lips grazed mine, hovering over them.

"Cinnamon…" he breathed against me.

"I brushed my teeth…" I whispered apologetically.

"No, that is not what I mean," he murmured, his mouth sliding away from mine and along my jaw line to nuzzle the tender spot below my ear. "It's you, all of you. It has permeated you and subtly but quite deliciously altered your scent." Slipping a hand around my waist, he pulled me hard against him, turned and walked me backward toward the bed. I sat down heavily when the backs of my legs hit the edge of the bed. My heart leapt and had to catch my breath. Was this it? Was he finally going to give me the human experience I wanted to share with him before becoming a vampire?

He sat on the bed next to me, and I shifted so I was facing him with my legs crossed. He reached for a lock of hair that had not made it into my ponytail, playing with it, observing me with an enigmatic half-smile.

"It needs brushing," I said stupidly, suddenly nervous.

He stood, went to the dresser and brought back my hairbrush. "Turn around," he said.

I hesitated, and then complied, reaching to remove the scrunchy holding back my hair. "No," he said, staying my hand. "Let me do that."

I felt the mattress sink as he sat back down behind me, and felt his gentle hands carefully working the scrunchy free. He combed his fingers lightly through the entire length of my hair, then started brushing it with slow, sure strokes. I have always enjoyed the gentle tugging sensation caused by a hairbrush running though my hair, and was gratified to find out the experience was infinitely more electric when someone I loved more than life itself was doing the brushing. I drifted into such a deeply relaxed state, that I didn't realize he had stopped until a firm pressure to my shoulders told me he wanted me to turn back around.

I did, finding him a lot closer than I had expected, his cool sweet breath fanning across my face, my crossed legs brushing his hip and thigh. I reached for the scrunchy to tie my hair back again, but he snatched it from me, tossing it aside.

"No," he rasped. "Leave it."

Though neither of us seemed to move, our lips were suddenly touching again. This time he was the one who deepened the kiss. He threaded his splayed fingers into my hair and held my head with both hands, kissing me so thoroughly that I was unable to form a coherent thought. I lifted my hands and tentatively placed them on his chest, not wanting to do anything that would make him bolt. He flinched, but continued kissing me. Emboldened, I let my hands drift around his sides to explore the sculpted planes of his back, his shoulders and his rock-hard arms. Finally, I slid my hands up between his arms and cupped his face, arching toward him, leaning into the kiss with a moan.

I didn't register the growl until I was flat on my back on the bed, arms pinned to either side of my head, with Edward straddling my hips. The rumbling growl faded, but Edward didn't move. He was leaning over me, fists like stones fused around my wrists, his eyes closed, a look of intense concentration on his face. He seemed to be struggling for control. Perversely, I was not afraid. I drew breath to speak, but never got a word out.

"Don't speak, Bella, please don't speak," he pleaded, eyes still squeezed shut. I lay there unmoving, barely breathing, until the tension leaked out of his body. He opened his eyes, released my wrists, and climbed off me, moving to the bottom of the bed.

I sat up and scooted back to lean against the headboard. "What just happened?" I asked carefully.

He avoided my eyes. "I'm sorry; I should not have let that happen."

"Let what happen?" I almost snapped, starting to get annoyed. "The kiss?" Edward was being Edward again, taking a perfectly glorious moment and twisting it into something to feel guilty about.

"It's your scent, Bella." He finally looked at me, his eyes bleak. "I didn't think it was possible for you to smell any more intoxicating, but you seemed to have managed."

"Does…does it make things more difficult for you?" I asked fearfully. I was not sure I liked where this conversation was heading.

"Infinitely. It also makes things vastly more dangerous for you."

I ignored that last. "But it will fade, right?"

"Yes," he said, thought the idea didn't seem to improve his mood.

"Oh. That's good, then. I will just have to avoid cinnamon like the plague."

He said nothing, looking off in the distance, lost in his thoughts. I felt a surge of panic. "Edward…whatever you are thinking, stop. I don't know what you are thinking, but I am pretty sure I won't like it." I took a stab in the dark, afraid he might be rethinking his decision never to leave me. "Remember, if you break a promise to me, I will feel justified in breaking a promise to you."

That snapped him back into reality. I shot me an icy glare. "Don't even think about it," he said sternly.

"Then you don't think about it either," I shot back. We glared at each other for a moment, and then he softened, smiling.

"Oh, Bella…What am I going to do with you?"

_You could kiss me senseless again_. "Nothing," I said, crawling beneath the covers. "You are going to come here, and lie down next to me."

"Ok, but no funny stuff," he warned me, stretching out on top of the comforter. "Keep your hands to yourself. My control is shot to pieces, I can't take anymore."

I immediately rolled toward him, snuggling up to his cold body, my head pillowed on his chest and my arm draped across his midriff. I heaved a contented sigh as he started playing with my hair. We lay there in silence for a moment, and then he started humming, the butterscotch smoothness of his voice and the light touch of his hand against my hair lulling me to sleep. I was about to drift off when I remembered something.

"Edward?" I mumbled.

He stopped humming. "Mmmm?"

"Have you ever been in this situation before? With someone you care about doing drugs, I mean? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I added quickly.

"No," he replied. "I don't mind." He paused for a moment, and then continued quietly. "It happened when I was still human. It was my best friend. He fell in with the wrong crowd. They weren't bad people, just bored and reckless, constantly on the lookout for new sensations. They called themselves pleasure seekers. Today they would probably be called hedonists and adrenaline junkies. Anyway, it started with marijuana. He later graduated to opium, spending most of his time in a dream state in opium dens. One night as he was leaving, still under the influence, he wandered off in the wrong direction, ended up in an even worse neighborhood, and got robbed and beaten to death."

"Oh, Edward," I cried softly, lifting my head to look at him. "I'm so sorry."

"I did nothing to stop him," he continued. "Of course marijuana wasn't illegal then, and very little was known about the detrimental effect of drugs, but I didn't even try to talk to him, even when he became a different person. I figured it was his life, and he could handle it."

I ducked my head, flushing as he used my own words to caution me, and laid it back down on his chest.

A chuckle rumbled through him. "I can smell you blushing." His tone grew serious. "Anyway, that is why I've been so hard on you. I don't want you to go down that path. I can't let it happen again. You are mine, and I protect what is mine."

I shivered at the possessive tone in his voice. "You know, we've both been so busy trying to win that argument that we forgot something: none of this matters; I won't be human much longer."

His hand clenched into a fist in my hair, but he said nothing.

"Edward?"

"I haven't decided whether I am going to allow that yet," he muttered.

I lifted my head again, looking at his face sharply. "It was put to a vote. You were outnumbered. Carlisle _and_ Alice promised," I reminded him. "It's a done deal." When he said nothing, I tried to put my head back down, but he didn't let go of my hair, forcing me to keep looking at him.

"I would not underestimate my desire to keep you human if I were you, Bella," he said ominously, pinning me with his ancient eyes.

I stared at him wide-eyed until he released me, and then put my head back down on his chest. He reached across to the nightstand, turned off the light, and gathered me closer to him. He started humming again, but I resisted the lure of his velvet voice just a moment longer to give his words serious consideration.

I knew now what Edward was capable of when it came to keeping me from doing something he thought was wrong. I would not underestimate him again.

I was not unduly worried. After all, I wasn't the same person I was before I met Edward. I had found that there were things I was unmovable about too, and I now knew that I could and would fight dirty to get what I wanted. And what I wanted was Edward. Since I could not be with him if I aged and he didn't - regardless of what he said on the subject - my staying human was not an option.

My mortal life was standing between me and my goals; so I would not hesitate for a minute to risk my mortal life should Edward stand in my way. I would force his hand if that is what it took to get my way on the subject of becoming a vampire.

Satisfied with my decisions and filled with quiet determination, I gave myself over to Edward's quiet singing and gentle touch, and drifted off to sleep.

**The End**

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**End note**: Thanks again to everyone who commented, and for adds to the alerts and lists. You guys are the best.


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